Do you trust ME?

This past weekend, I felt my heart in a heavy state, wondering if life would slow down enough for me to ENJOY it again. Not that I haven't enjoyed my life, it just seems like there are a lot of days that are hard rather than joyful. It's been such a growing season, this having two young children, remodeling a home, moving/settling in, working, being involved at church/in ministry. All very good things, but I've still been feeling like I need more JESUS, you know? There are just so many areas where I feel like I'm not really doing my greatest...

So Sunday, as I felt my heart so heavy, weary, and well, a little dry, I knew I needed something different than a church experience in a building.  I love our Body of believers, but I just needed something different. I needed a fresh touch from God. Because really, going in and out of service to take our son to nursery, nursing Katelyn, etc., coupled with the whirl of getting ready to go to church, Sundays just don't feel very "restful" to me. So after praying and asking God for a fresh touch, I asked Nate if we could go on a hike for church. I was 99.999999% sure the answer would be no. Nate doesn't like to miss church (ever) and I'm grateful for his commitment to it. I really am, but this past week, I was really hoping my odds were somewhere in the .0000001% to be a yes. He said yes right away and I was shocked. God is so good. (Thanks honey!!!)

So we finished getting ready, and as soon as Katelyn was up and fed from her nap, we headed to a beautiful trail, a nice, solitary trail called Trout Run. I knew I needed something different, but I wasn't expecting to have a tantrum throwing toddler's instruction be what MY heart needed to meditate on.  As we walked, we stopped to throw stones into the creek. If you know my son, throwing stones into a creek is somewhere in the same sphere as heaven (he's all boy and 2). I am pretty sure in his mind, he'll be throwing stones with Jesus for all of eternity.

For me, I just closed my eyes, and the sound of the water carried so much stress away. The fresh air the crisp leaves, the water, in all of it, God was massaging away my tension. I opened my eyes and saw my husband and son enjoying throwing stones together and I felt so FULL.

The time came to move on, to keep hiking. Benson was NOT having it.

He was so mad and throwing a huge fit. Before I thought the words, I said, "Benson, do you trust us?". Nate was carrying him at this point and asked him the same question, then we said, "Can you trust that Daddy has something better for you?". Then it hit me. Do I trust that Daddy God has something better for me?  Do I believe the small creek and the small stones are as great as it gets or am I living trusting Him for all that He has for me?

As we walked we came to an even better place, with an island where the creek split and we got to the island where there were bigger stones and the water was so clear you could see the leaves/stones at the bottom of the pool we were throwing rocks into.

Katelyn's first hike... Sorry sweetie you're already 6 months old. We'll try to do this more often!



As we shared with Benson how much God loves us, how much we love him as our son and how he can trust us to lead him to better things, and that he can TRUST GOD EVEN MORE. God was ministering to me in so many ways. Nate knew there was an even better place ahead, and so we left this great spot for something even better. Benson, however, still didn't believe us and was pretty hysterical. So we asked him some more if he would trust us and then we let God minister some more to our family about trusting Him. I am sure I throw fits that to God look similar to Benson's that day, but I'm a bit better at hiding them from the public.

Then, we came to the BEST spot yet!  It had a rock about 15 feet above the water you could step out on and throw really big rocks into a pool below. Benson thinks he's superman sometimes and was trying to lift huge boulders (do you know grunting helps???).  Anyway, as he and Nate threw big rocks from the rock above the water, I was filled with praise to God for loving me so much. For loving us so much and for being so trustworthy. He wants us to experience Him fully, not only in the little things, but in the big things. He wants us to believe Him for delight, not just happiness.

Thank you God, for ministering to our family, for the beauty of Your creation, and for loving us so much to lead us perfectly... We trust You. We trust You.

Psalm 13:5 - But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.