Mud Puddles, Fear of Man, and LIVING

If you're reading this, and you're interested in my son's love of mud puddles, it goes WAY back. You can find various pictures of him jumping in puddles, mud puddles, and LOVING every minute of it. He's a boy, he's a child, and I'm glad.  It's good, free, "clean" (if not physically so, at least spiritually so) fun.

But this post isn't about my son's joy of mud puddles, not really anyway...  They are just a cover for my heart. This post is really about the way I muddy God's love for me, for my child and how I let the approval (or disapproval) of others show me the way instead of living in reckless abandon and JUMPING in to all that God has for me and for those I love.

The other night we got together with a rather large group of people.  It was hot. It was muggy. It hadn't rained here in a long time. The grass is brown in these parts, which is weird.  Our son found one of the few places of water - brown, muddy, refreshing water.  Small as it was, near the drinking fountain, he LOVED it. Jumped right in, shoes, socks, white shorts and all.  Again and again and again.  I was enjoying watching him have fun and wishing that the puddle was bigger than one foot around, because I was secretly wishing to swim in it ;)

Some people made comments to me about the dirtiness, the mess, etc.and I explained that I thought it was great - a fun place to play in the heat.  Shoes and socks will dry, shorts can be washed.  A child's delight can't be bought, washed, dried. I guess it can, but not for the point of this post :)  He was exploring his world and enjoying it! I didn't know it at the time, but I do now, that people were also making comments to Nate. Comments to the effect of, "I would never let my kids do that" and other similar types of things. This post isn't meant to stir bitterness to the puddle haters, but to share the goodness and sweetness of the Lord when we miss the mark big-time.  It's also not about my husband's weakness, but about mine and how God used this one situation to minister, correct, and teach. I love Him.  Upon hearing these comments multiple times, Nate pulled Benson out of the puddle, much to his great dismay (a huge fit transpired, which was disciplined). While we don't approve of fits and ended up leaving shortly after for other reasons (I didn't know why Nate pulled him out of the puddle, I wanted to leave because I thought Katelyn was in distress from the heat and she was).  On the way home I asked Nate why he pulled him out when he was clearly enjoying himself (and hey, any time my son is occupied and relatively holding steady in one place, it's a good thing, right???).  He told me why and the revelation hit me like a mack truck.

We live in fear of man or fear of disapproval of man. In other words, we want man's approval and fear disapproval more than we fear God. Call it pride, call it fear of man, call it approval addiction, call it being conscious of others...attach any label you choose to, but I know at its very core, it's awful. It's SIN.  Plain and simple. I think this is something I'm learning more and more right now. I've been asking God to help me see people as He sees them, not through my filters. I think He's gracious enough to show me for mine, too. So many people think they don't wrestle with this problem, but I think most people do. Any time we fall to comparing ourselves to others (I wish I had nice hair like her or a big house like him), any time we worry that we said the wrong thing, any time we wonder if we are good enough, any time we replay scenarios over and over and worry if we've offended someone or worry that they don't see us as favorably anymore, on and on and on.... all of this is sinful if our pursuit is to be liked, admired, etc. It's sin.  Also, in our judgement, we don't allow freedom for others.

We bathed the kids (both due to muddiness and heat) and had our bedtime routine, all the while, I'm reeling, REELING from the reality of what happened.  I wasn't shocked at Nate's actions, pulling him out of the puddle, or even at people's words. I was shocked that we allowed people's disapproval steal JOY from our sweet son who was not doing anything wrong. He wasn't sinning, but we sure did. As we sang and prayed together before bed, I asked Benson for forgiveness for the times I stop him from living life because of my fear of what others will think. I asked for forgiveness for the times I haven't disciplined him as I should have for fear of what others would say. Basically for the times as a parent I didn't do as I should because of FEAR of what others would think/say/feel about me.  Nate and I had a sweet time talking and praying through this together, too. It's something we want to be free from, but also something we want to free others from in our lives.  I don't want my need for control rob those I love from full life.

The reason I'm posting this is not to point fingers or even to vindicate ourselves as cool parents ;) but instead because I want to share the glory of God.  Of His patience for us. And to remind us to PLAY IN THAT DIRTY MUD PUDDLE, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS OF US. Go ahead, live. Live in the joy we have because He died for us to have LIFE. Amen.

And as a warning, we are probably going to let or son be dirty, have fun, and enjoy life.  I'm not sorry if that offends you. Eesh, typing NOT in front of the sorry was hard for me. We won't judge you for your children being clean. 

I encourage you to ask God the things in your life you allow other people's opinions to control (or how you control others with yours) when all should really be subject to God.  Then ask Him to help you be free.  It'll be fun.

As a side note, his socks are still dirty after being washed and I'm glad because it will remind me of this beautiful lesson.